A lesson in hope

ON A PROGRESSIVE JOURNEY Ruby Thomas. Photo: Special Arrangement ON A PROGRESSIVE JOURNEY Ruby Thomas. Photo: Special Arrangement The story of Ruby Thomas, a victim of strange mood swings, is one of guts and perseverance Ruby Thomas brought tears to my eyes. Not because she is under treatment for bipolar mood disorder and on the way to recovery. But because she was the ‘surprise' strength of a function held last week to mark International Women's Day. When you are ill with an unpredictable mind and mood swings, it takes immense guts to tell the world your story. And that is what 36-year-old Ruby chose to do. In the process, she brought hope and smiles to many others like her. She stunned the audience with her beautifully worded extempore speech that unfurled her life – what she was, what she became and what she is now. Underneath the anger and suffering was an attractive girl with large eyes and an excellent command over English and Hindi. “I was my father's pet child,” she started, and it was not difficult to imagine how an angelic daughter with two brothers would have been pampered. She was born in London and grew up there and later all over India, wherever her father was transferred as squadron leader. She enjoyed the attention and love showered on her. She went to the best schools and got whatever she wanted, sometimes in overdoses. It was not until she turned 16 that her parents noticed something usual about her behaviour. She just couldn't take a “no” to any of her requests. She became quarrelsome, aggressive, explosive and foul-mouthed. Most disturbing, she frequently ran away from home. Her ‘over-protective' father's death in 1992 to cancer precipitated Ruby's situation. “My acts of extravagance became unreasonable. I used to hit and beat my brothers and mother and did many not-so-normal things,” she said. That is when she was taken to a private psychiatric clinic and diagnosed with bipolar mood disorder. She was under rehabilitation at NIMHANS, Bangalore, for some time but her severe mood swings, combinations of mania with depression, and thoughts of grandiosity continued on and off. “I knew I had this uncontrollable illness. I feel bad now to recall how I used to beat my mother and how much she suffered due to me,” she says. It was during one such episode that her mother fainted and was diagnosed with brain tumour. After her surgery she went into a coma for six months and during the next five years Ruby remained by her side all the time. “I do not know, maybe that had some therapeutic value,” she says. But Ruby went into depression and stopped taking care of herself. When her mother passed away in 2009, Ruby's elder brother, working with the Indian Navy and posted in Nagpur, brought her to Madurai. A school friend of his told him about M.S. Chellamuthu Trust and Research Foundation's work in rehabilitating people with mental illness. Sceptical of being able to keep his sister, who would rage off and on, he came on a recce of the city and of Srishti, one of the centres for the mentally ill run by the Trust. Having traveled widely, Ruby found the place like a “village”. With her brother's assurance that this was the right place for her and that she would soon be well, Ruby was retrained in simple life skills like taking a bath, dressing neatly, showing good manners and maintaining hygiene. Though she was under medication and supervision, her inter-personal conflicts surfaced again. By then the Trust staff recognized her language skills and engaged her in office work to draft letters and other communication. She was shifted to the Trust's exclusive women's centre, Vriksha, and given the responsibility of teaching language to other residents. Inside the classroom, Ruby became a different girl. Her smile and confidence were back. “I just want to be happy and I enjoy the company of students, young or old. I have found friends too,” she smiles. She gradually learned to manage time and the money she earns. “I want to do B.Ed or Montessori training. I also want to shift to a hostel and live independently,” says Ruby, who dreams of going back home soon. “My brothers call me occasionally. I also speak to my nieces and nephews. I have realized this is my life, I need to take medicines regularly. But I want to do something useful and not just waste my time any more.” You can't make out whether Ruby is hiding her depression behind her kohl-rimmed eyes and the bright red lipstick she wears now. But on March 8, she ended her speech to loud applause. She generated hope among those who are fighting mental illness and those who are helping them to recover. “I want others to know it is possible to live on. I want everybody to know that I am basically a nice person with lot of potential and ability. I just need a safe and good opportunity.” (Making a difference is a fortnightly column about ordinary people and events that leave an extraordinary impact on us. E-mail to somabasu@thehindu.co.in to tell about someone you know who is making a difference) Keywords: mood swings, psychology